Today we have Mahina State University biology professor Emma Nakamura as a guest on T’s Stuff. Accompanying her is her best friend and colleague, Molly Barda.
Emma: She’s just here for moral support.
Molly: Exactly. (Makes zipping motion across her mouth.)
Emma: So she’s not gonna butt in every five seconds.
Molly: Emma, when have I ever butted in?
T’s Stuff: Emma, welcome to Island Confidential! Can you tell our readers a little bit about yourself?
Emma: So I teach introductory biology at Mahina State—
Molly: Her job is to crush the dreams of aspiring doctors. She’s really good at it.
Emma: Eh, someone’s gotta weed ‘em out. Our Appeasement, Retention, Satisfaction, and Engagement Department sure isn’t gonna do it.
Molly: Their actual name is the Student Retention Office.
Emma: Mines is better. Cause the acronym.
T’s Stuff: Which character in Invasive Species do you get along with the best?
Molly: You don’t have to say me. Although if she asked me, I’d say it was you.
Emma: Guess I better say Molly.
T’s stuff: Which other character do you have a conflict with?
(Emma and Molly exchange a look.)
Molly: How much time do you have?
Emma: Don’t exaggerate.
Molly: How about Linda from the Student Retention Office?
Emma: Big deal. You don’t like Linda either.
Molly: Rodge Cowper, in the office next to mine?
Emma: Rodge? Ew! He’s the reason you guys have to keep your doors open when you got a student in your office. Of course I don’t get along with him. Gross.
Molly: Randy Randolph from Seed Solutions. The one who was so disappointed when he got transferred to Hawaii and didn’t find it swarming with “sexy hula girls.”
Emma: Randy Randolph? Eh, you like that guy?
Molly: I’m not the one getting interviewed here.
T’s Stuff: Where are some of your favorite places to hang out?
Emma: I like Molly’s office cause she’s got her own coffee machine, and chairs to sit on.
Molly: I should explain about the chairs. After the latest cuts, the administration eliminated the furniture budget for faculty. I scrounged some leftover chairs for visitors to sit on, but Emma refuses on principle to pay for work furniture out of pocket.
Emma: You know I’m right, though.
Molly: So if you go to Emma’s office you have to stand eye-level with that brain in a jar she keeps on her file cabinet. Emma, speaking of places to hang out, you should tell her about the Maritime Club.
Emma: Oh yeah. The Maritime Club is where Molly and me go for happy hour. It’s down by the water, little tide pools right below the dining patio, real nice view all the way out to the horizon. Sometimes you can see whales and dolphins.
Molly: If you’re into retro food, you have to go. They must be one of the last places in the world with Coq au Vin and Baked Alaska on the menu.
Emma: And rumaki, don’t forget. What was it Betty said?
Molly: “When it’s 9am in L.A., it’s 1952 in Mahina.”
T’s Stuff: Who plays you in the movie version?
Emma: Kerry Washington.
Molly: Kerry Washington?
Emma: You know any good Hawaiian – Japanese actors?
Molly: Not offhand.
Emma: Kerry Washington, then.
T’s Stuff: What’s next for you?
Emma: Molly and me are heading over to the Maritime Club for happy hour. Wanna come?
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